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What Would Key Historical Figures Vape?

By Matt McConnell

Wednesday August 19, 2015
imagine if some of our key figures from history could vape instead of smoke
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Famous public figures lived lives recorded in history books. Some are remembered for good reasons, others not so much. Let’s talk about some famous public figures that are known for doing something remarkable or at least really cool.

Try not to be overly mesmerized by my astonishing power of intuitive, innately instinctive insight. It will be hard, I know, but rather than focusing on my brilliance, just stick to accepting and absorbing my written word rather than aiming the spotlight on me personally. Unless you want to.

For the moment, my ability will be dedicated, at least temporarily, toward determining just what key historical figures would vape. Using a methodical system based on the foundational principles of the science of inference, I will delve deep into history and deep into other stuff too to figure out just who would vape what. Yes, finally the answers that you have been waiting for.

Smoking has been with us for centuries. How we wish that it weren’t. Although the reverence showered upon the famed may seem to offer a mystical immunity to the slings and arrows faced by the rest of us, the reality is contrarily obvious. Oooh! What an artful sentence, somebody write that down.

As I was saying, the point is that all of us are subject to the frailties of being human, including those that have shaped our society and culture. They, too, have experienced the addiction of smoking and they to were prone to the hazards of smoking tobacco.

What if key historical figures had had the opportunity to make the switch to ecigs? What would they vape? This is what I am about to share with you now. You may disagree with my conclusions but you would be wrong. This is science.

The Egyptian Pharaoh Khufu

egyptian pharaoh Khufu or CheopsThe 4th Dynasty Egyptian pharaoh Khufu was an explorer and builder. Under his reign, the largest of the great pyramids was constructed. Was he working with aliens from outer space? I’m not touching that. After all, this is science.

For our purposes, Khufu built the Great Pyramid of Giza, or Khufu or Cheops as it is also referred to. He hired his nephew to oversee construction, of course, some things never change, but hey, he got the job done.

Construction wrapped up in 2560 BC. Khufu’s pyramid was the tallest building on earth for 3800 years. The great pyramid was 480 feet tall 756 feet wide. It is constructed of 2.3 million perfectly shaped giant stones.

This may be only speculation but I surmise that Khufu was also the first human to say, “Go big or go home.”

The Khufu pyramid was more than big, however, it was also mathematically perfect and precise to within a 0.5% margin of error. The size and precision control tell us a lot about what Khufu would vape if he were with us today.

He would want something big and something with precise controls. Khufu was a rebel and he just had to build a bigger pyramid than his predecessors. That cinches it. Khufu would vape the VaporFi Rebel 2, no doubt about it!

The VaporFi Rebel 2 is big, powerful and precise. It is built beautifully with a telescopic body that is a solidly built masterpiece. Khufu would love the precision voltage and wattage control and the built in ohm reader would ensure the precise performance that he demanded.

He would also choose the Rebel 2 because the Rebel 2 tank would allow him to control the ejuice flow. This is a whole new level of precise customization. Khufu’s vaping choice would be the VaporFi Rebel 2 without a doubt.

Check out our VaporFi Rebel 2 review.

 

Elvis Presley

did elvis smokeWith a billion albums sold worldwide, there are few legends greater than the King of Rock’n Roll. To this day when you mention “the King”, people don’t think of someone who wore a crown and wielded a scepter. No, they of someone who wore studded jumpsuits and wielded a microphone. They think of sideburns, hips, and rebellious rock’n roll.

Elvis Presley was born in Tupelo Mississippi and grew up in a two-room house. As a kid, he would bring his guitar to school and play and sing at lunchtime. At 21, he was is the Sun Records studios and at the end of a long day of trying to record something that sounded good they were about to give up. That’s when Elvis grabbed the guitar and started jumping around, having fun and improvising a version of “That’s Alright”. It was then that the sound of a legend was born.

Elvis became a star unlike any other the world had known. He defined cool. The ladies kind of liked him as well! Some of then actually found him to be physically attractive. Elvis dominated the stage and screen. Centuries from now, he will still be the King. If Elvis were with us today, I suspect that he would trade smoking for vaping and his ecig of choice would be the Apollo V-Tube 4.0.

Elvis was larger than life and he didn’t do anything halfway. He would be all about the huge clouds of vapor. He wouldn’t want a box mod though, he would want something familiar, something with the feel of a microphone. He would want an advanced tube ecig with a subohm tank that he wouldn’t have to fuss too much with. The V-Tube 4.0 and Phazer subohm tank would be perfect.

The Apollo V-Tube 4.0 starter kit is a complete SubOhm vape kit that comes with everything. Elvis would insist on this. For those of you who think Elvis would buy a mod, then buy some batteries, and then buy a tank, forget about it. Science says that you are wrong and I am right. Did the King buy a base model car and then buy all the upgrades separately? Never! He is a fully loaded Cadillac man and the Apollo V-Tube 4.0 kit is fully loaded vape kit luxury. You don’t nickel and dime the King of Rock’n Roll, people. No way. Only some sort of hound dog would do that.

Not only would the King go for the V-Tube 4.0 complete subohm kit, he would also be all over Apollo’s FaQ “Viva Los Nanas” VG eliquid. Viva Los Nanas has the flavor of the Elvis’ favorite, a crispy peanut butter and banana sandwich. Apollo is tailor made for Elvis. This man would want a little less conversation and a lot more vapor. Thank you, thank you very much. You knew that was coming.

See why Elvis would pick the V-Tube 4.0 kit

 

Frank Sinatra

frank sinatra invented cool

Elvis may have defined cool but Frank Sinatra invented it. Born in Hoboken, New Jersey Frank Sinatra was born to be a star and a star he was. Early on, Frank took singing lessons mastering a bel canto style where he was always a touch above the notes.

Today, people talk about his “phrasing” but whatever you want to call it, Frank could sing and he delivered on every lyric.

One of my favorite Frank Sinatra stories dates back to when Frank was just getting started. Hoboken was a tough, blue collar city and Frank’s friends would kid him about being a singer.

They knew Frank as a tough kid who would earn money hauling 100 lb potato sacks up flights of stairs. Frank would tell them that not only was he a singer but he was a very, very good one at that.

Finally, his friends had a chance to come and see Frank sing live. They were shocked by how fantastic he was on stage. After the show they approached Frank and were all like, “Wow! You really can sing.” To which Frank responded, “I told ya so you %^&*^& idiots”. True story.

While Elvis made the girls scream, Frank made them swoon. He hit Hollywood and changed it forever. He transitioned to the silver screen and even won an Oscar along the way. On the set and in the recording studio, Frank called the shots. No wonder they called him the chairman of the board.

You know his notable hits. My Way, New York New York, Strangers In The Night etc. All amazing but Frank’s personal favorite was Night And Day as written by Cole Porter. Night And Day is about a man who feels lonely and longs for his love. You could not put Frank Sinatra in a box with a nice easy definition. All you could predict is that he would do it his way.

Today, Frank would put down his cigarettes and go with a no-nonsense ecig that would provide him the same polished performance that he delivered on stage every night. He would not want a mod with a bunch of crazy buttons and settings. Are you kiddin? Frank didn’t follow trends he set them. He would want the Halo G6.

The Halo G6 is a cigalike that provides the excellence of Halo ejuice vapor in an easy to use, portable cigalike. The G6 looks and feels like a cigarette. He would choose the Jet Black finish and stock up on Tribecca cartridges because of the smooth tobacco flavor. I can picture him now, under a streetlight in the wee small hours, vaping his Halo G6.

Before buying, Frank would have read our Halo G6 review.

 

Winston Churchill

winston churchill smoked 8 to 10 cigars a dayWinston Churchill did it all in his lifetime. He never yielded and never surrendered. He was a leader and will always rank as one of the greatest in history. He remains famous for his ever-present cigars.

Few could match him in a battle of wits. Famously, in 1912 Lady Astor said to him, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your tea.” Churchill instantly replied, “if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

Winston Churchill enjoyed 8 to 10 cigars per day. The consummate gentleman, he did not want his cigar smoke to bother others. In fact, as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom he would often travel by air. He had a special mask invented that would allow him to smoke on an airplane without flooding the cabin with smoke. Today, Mr. Churchill would no doubt vape.

But what would he vape? That is not an easy question to answer. But we do know that as a cigar smoker he would need a lot of vapor with a good punch. He would want something sturdy and well designed. As a master of managing issues simultaneously on several fronts, he would want something that was capable of excelling in any number of situations.

So we know that he would want tough, indomitable vapor, and versatility. Most importantly, he would demand that his ecig provide top performance at all times. He would vape the VaporFi Vox 2.

The Vox 2 is an unyielding steel mod that can take anything the world can dish out. Through the battles, the VaporFi Vox 2 stands and delivers. It is very customizable and versatile. Churchill was a supporter of science and the technology of the Vox 2 would prove to be irresistible.

Would Churchill be deterred by all the ridiculous scare tactics that critics throw at vaping. No. Quite to the contrary, I think the criticism would only arouse Sir Winston’s fighting spirit. Churchill once said, “You have enemies? Good. That means that you stood up for something, sometime in your life.” The man was a vaper at heart, no doubt about it.

Winston’s Vox 2 advanced electronic cigarette.

 

The Mercury 7 Astronauts

the original astronauts were all test pilotsThe Mercury 7 astronauts were the original astronauts. In 1958 when NASA began looking for the first astronauts to guide mankind into the next stage of human exploration, President Eisenhower ordered that the original candidates be test pilots. Who better?

Test pilots are the elite. They move fast. They push the envelop to the edge and then keep going. More than 500 test pilots applied to be NASA’s first astronauts and only seven were chosen.

To be considered, candidates had to be in amazing physical condition and have an IQ above 130. On April 9, 1959 in Washington, DC, the first astronauts were introduced to the public. Gus Grissom, Alan Shepard, John Glenn, Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, Wally Schirra, and Deke Slayton made the final cut.

Before becoming astronauts, most of the Mercury 7 were smokers. Also, most of them quit when they became astronauts. Dude, you can’t smoke in a space ship. Quitting is always the best answer!

If an astronaut were to vape, it is pretty easy to figure out which ecig they would use. The VaporFi Rocket! The Rocket is a sleek ecig that is easy to use. It’s hassle free but still customizable with adjustable airflow and variable voltage. If you are busy and often in a hurry, you want something that adjusts on the fly. The Rocket is sleek, fast and ready for launch. What else would an astronaut vape? This one is obvious. Hardly needed my scientific expertise to figure that one out.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 – Show me the VaporFi Rocket review!

 

Marilyn Monroe

marilyn monroe smoked cigarettesWhen Norma Jeane Mortenson was born, her parents were not ready. To this day the exact identity of her father is not certain. When she was a few weeks old, she was put in a foster home and eventually became a ward of the state.

It was a sad and humble beginning, there’s no sugar coating it. But humble beginnings make the best stories and the greatest legends. Few legends match the star power of Marilyn Monroe.

Before she became Marilyn Monroe, Norma Jeane was working at an airplane factory during World War II before her career, ahem, “took off”. Not punny? Sorry. While working there, she caught the eye of a photographer who offered her work as a model.

Eventually it was decided that her famous figure was not really model material, but it sure made for a great pin-up!

She instantly became a wildly successful pin-up girl. To say Marilyn is a famous figure from history is an understatement. Pardon the pun, if that happened to be one.

In 1948, Marilyn Monroe made her first film appearance. By 1952, she was a star appearing as a leading lady in film and dating baseball legend Joe Dimaggio. She became thee sex symbol of the 1950s. Some of her biggest box office hits were “Niagara”, “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”, and “The Seven Year Itch”. Her most acclaimed performance came in the classic “Some Like It Hot”.

Marilyn made as many headlines off screen as she did on. She was a transcendent star who remains an icon to this day. Marilyn was a staunch believer in peace and a nuclear free society. Olive green is the traditional color of peace. I got it! Today, Marylin would put down her cigarettes and pick up Green Smoke.

I have no doubt that she would choose the pink Green Smoke battery because pink is hot and some do like it hot. Her pink dress from the movie has its own Wikipedia page I kid you not! Marilyn is so iconic, even her old pink clothes have Wikipedia pages. I know, right! If someday the clothes you are wearing have their own Wikipedia page, chances are you can consider yourself to be an influential historical figure. Yes, she would choose a pink Green Smoke battery no doubt.

Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend but Green Smoke’s glowing green tip would be reminiscent of her famous emerald evening gown. More proof that Marilyn would throw her stinking cigarettes away and order her some Green Smoke.

Green Smoke ecigs are realistic cigalikes. They look and feel like a cigarettes. Marilyn would be able to easily carry them with her and vape anywhere. Can you imagine Marilyn with a mod? No way! I mean, when she was singing “Happy Birthday” to President Kennedy in her flesh toned sheer dress, seriously, where would she put it? Get real people.

See the Green Smoke review that would win Marilyn’s heart.

 

That concludes my masterful speculative historical expose blog article post of insightfulness as I peered into the minds of famous figures from history.

In all seriousness, like many of us, these larger than life personalities probably began smoking innocently enough without understanding how terrible smoking really is. Smoking probably even contributed to a premature death for many of these treasured personalities. None of us are immune to the dangers of smoking and most of us have experienced the loss caused by smoking.

We can change that. If you have tried to quit smoking but given up, don’t, don’t give up. Like Churchill said, never surrender. You can quit smoking and we can have a world where smoking does not hurt so many families. Believe it because it is exactly like Sir Winston said, “I am an optimist. It does not seem to be much use being anything else.”

Matt Team ECCR

 

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